Life is not always a fairytale, and when you live with someone you love, it’s not uncommon for the “magic” in your relationship to fade. Sharing a home with the person you are committed to, whether in a marriage or otherwise, can be difficult—and keeping your romance alive, when you are occupied with dirty dishes and utility bills, takes work and significant prioritizing.

If you and your partner are starting to feel less like two people in love, and more like two people who just happen to live together, you are not alone. “Roommate syndrome” is unfortunately quite common in relationships—and it can wreak havoc on a once-healthy romance, if left unaddressed.With an increased dedication to working at their relationship and appreciating each other, couples struggling with this perplexing problem can learn to again find happiness and satisfaction in their partnership. To nip this roommate syndrome in the bud, consider attending couples therapy with your significant other.

It is quite possible for you and your partner to go throughout life simply as “roommates,” and to be successful—but if you are searching for more meaning and substance within your relationship, couples therapy can help. There is a big difference between surviving and thriving in the world of romance, and your connection with your significant other has the potential to once again be extraordinary.

During couples therapy, you and your partner work with a counselor who specializes in helping couples tap into the maximum potential of their relationship. If your current roommate syndrome is due to the fact that the two of you have lost touch, your counselor will teach you how to communicate and reconnect. If you’re fed up with your partner’s “little quirks” that once seemed so endearing, counseling can teach you to keep the bigger picture in mind, and remind you of why you fell in love in the first place.

To end “roommate syndrome” as a couple, you must first look inward, and identify the individual changes you each need to make. Your joint situation is the result of personal traits and behaviors. You and your partner must each take responsibility, and accountability, in order to move forward.

Couples counselors help their clients learn to analyze their current situations, become aware of their behaviors, and how these behaviors are impacting their relationship as a whole. Couples therapy often consists of guided conversations between you and your partner, with your counselor asking questions or offering insight periodically. One of the most important skills couples learn during joint counseling is the ability to listen effectively, as only through listening and genuine understanding are lasting changes able to be made.

Roommate syndrome is often a side effect of months or years of cumulative behavioral changes or complacency. It’s normal for members of “roommate” relationships to feel trapped within the bounds of what they have created for themselves.

Couples therapy offers a fresh perspective on your relationship, with the involvement of a third party who has not been privy to your entire complicated past. Your counselor will help you and your significant other in the here and now, and couples therapy as a program teaches you to work through and let go of the past—focusing on your future, and what it has the potential to become.

If you and your partner are currently stuck living together without loving together, reflect on the difference couples therapy has the potential to make in your lives.